--Rob Corddry, The Daily Show
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Features The 50 Greatest Shocking Moments of My Life (10-1) 10. Shocked reaction at my ribcage (1985) This must have been at a sleepover and I was changing my shirt. My friend Pete took one look at my skinny fleshless ribcage and shrieked, "Eeww! Eeeww! Look at your ribs! That's nasty!" 9. Flipping off some guy on the way to karate (1983) So my dad's driving me to karate about a week after someone taught me how to give the middle finger. As we made a turn, I flipped off a guy driving a pickup truck. The minute we pulled in, the dude comes up to the driver's side window and shouts, "What you can't control your son!?" It was then I discovered that using the finger was not meant to be used indiscriminately. 9. Benny Hill (1991) I looked forward to going on these Chinese Church retreats every summer-- mostly for the ladies. One of the counselors was some dude that looked like the Chinese version of Benny Hill. On the last night, my friends and I would sneak out, but of course this time we were caught. I gave him some lame alibi, but when he found out the truth, he actually grabbed me by the collar, pushed me against the wall and exclaimed, "You lied to me!" The real shocking part was that he was just wearing a t-shirt and his tighty whities. 7. My mom's friend's point of view on shopping (1984) My mom was driving me to the mall. I was in the backseat and one of her friends was sitting shotgun. Mom: Godfrey loves to go shopping! Friend: GIrls really love to shop!  6. Not being able to buy the Han Solo book (1981)In first grade, I was at one of these book fairs that took place on the gym stage. I was currently reading Clifford and Curious George. My friend pointed out the book Han Solo's Revenge. I immediately picked it up. It was a book with no pictures. And the words were really small. I didn't care; the cover was awesome. Nevertheless, my teacher didn't think I was old enough to read it. So I never got it. I want to get that book now, read it, and track down my teacher (if she's still alive) and exclaim to her, "See? See? Told you I could read it!" 5. Mistaken Idendity (2006) I had this freelance job at Coach Bags for a week. There's a guard that sat on the ground floor and she really didn't seem to be doing much. Everyone just kind of waltzed in without showing any form of ID. I was there for a few days, and started a routine of getting my lunch and walking past her without any eye contact...until one day she stopped me. Guard: Hold on a second, sir. Where are going? Me: I work here. At Coach. 12th Floor. (incredulous look on my face) (Guard looks at me, looks at the sushi I just bought, looks at me again) Guard: Ok. So, I'm thinking, "That's strange. I walked in with about 6 other people and she stops me? This is a 12-story building. She must have a photographic memory. Then later it dawned on me. That bitch thought I was a delivery guy. 4. Miscommunication (2000) I was walking with one of my good friend's female friends. We were both single, and we talked about relationships and what we were looking for in a significant other. I had no interest in her beyond anything platonic. Thinking of my Chinese-American pals, I suggested, "Would you date an Asian guy?" She kinda paused, looked at me, then quickly changed the subject. It took me a few seconds to realize that she thought I was referring to her. What was I going to say? "Oh, I meant my friends! I'm not even remotely interested you! In fact, I don't even like you at all!" We never revisited that conversation. 3. Alyssa Milano (2002) I was on a first date with this girl and we were at this funky hot dog place. We started talking about attractive celebrities. Her: Right, so I saw this movie with Alyssa Milano. Me: Oh yeah! She was one of my earliest celebrity crushes. Total hottie. Her: Yeah, she looked really good. Me: Nice. Her: No, I mean she looked really good. (pause) Sooooo. I'm also into women. (awkward pause) Me: Really. Her: Yeah. Nothing ended up happening, since she was moving in a few weeks. But, boy, what a story! 2. Do I Perpetuate the Stereotype? (1992) After the first semester of my freshman year of college, I got a ride back with my friend, and when we got to her house, her mother was there with open arms...almost. I got the impression this was a very Leave it To Beaver type family and my assumption was confirmed by her question, "We have a ping pong table in the basement. Would you like to play some ping pong?" I politely declined, but gladly accepted her offering of Peking duck (kidding).  1. The girl at Six Flags (1986)My friend Walter and I were on one of these Roaring Rapids rides where you sit in a circular floating device. Directly across from us was an Asian girl around my age (12), sitting with her dad. Midway through the ride, the dad smiles at me and exclaims in his broken English, "My daughter think you are nerd!" I just smiled politely. Walter told me I should have said, "I think your daughter is illegitimate!" Of course, this was six hours later. 50-41 | 40-31 | 30-21 | 20-11 | 10-1 |
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Newsarama Interview The 50 Most Shocking Moments of My Life |