--Rob Corddry, The Daily Show
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Features The 50 Greatest Shocking Moments of My Life (30-21)
There were 72 kids in my graduating class. I ranked in at 36, but that's another story. At the end of the year, they handed out these manufactured feel good awards to boost our pathetic collective self-esteems. (I'll speak for myself on that one.) There was best math guy, best student athlete, etc. Now mind you, I am the only guy going on to art school. I was the guy doing the kick ass paintings that everyone was like "Wow, this guy can paint!" Forgive my lack of modesty but this was my identity in high school. So the next award is the art award. The faculty member announces, "And the art award goes to..." I am literally halfway out of my seat when I hear the award go to some popular chick everyone loves. WTF? That was such a complete BS move on their part. High school sucks. 29. Seeing KITT get crushed by Goliath (1986) Every Knight Rider episode seemed to have the same formula, not that I cared. But once they built this indestructible truck called Goliath. And it was driven by Michael Knight's twin Garth. He looked just like Michael Knight except he had a mustache. There was a deadly game of chicken where Goliath and KITT where heading straight at each other. Goliath pummeled KITT into a pulp. I've never seen KITT so damaged. I was near tears. 28. Being struck out by that "really good" pitcher (1984) There was a really good pitcher in little league named Mike. He was like Roger Clemens, just striking everyone out like they were three years younger than him. I was in such awe just to face him. I fouled one off and considered it a major accomplishment. I heard he went to the minor leagues but never made it to the Bigs. Sucker. 27. Getting passive-aggressively kicked out of my band (2002) I got two guys from two different jobs together and started a band. We first did a show in my basement with cover songs. We ruled. After a break, we got back together (through my urging) and started playing originals. I wanted to go and play in clubs, meet girls, etc. I played bass. So we put four tracks together and sent it to a radio station and low and behold, got accepted into a Battle of the Bands. I get a call from one of the guys and he tells me he wants his roommate, who's a much more experienced bassist to play instead. Me, being the pushover that I am said, "Yeah! That's fine!" Granted, I didn't really practice and just wasn't that into it. They wanted me to be more technical and I was a sloppy player. But whatever. Meanwhile, as stated before, I was really into it for the experience of performing and the potential to meet women. I just didn't like the music. 26. My friend Chuck just dropping his pants at random parties (1994-1996) There's nothing funnier than seeing people's reaction to a naked guy at a party. In his Belushi/ Farley inspired style, Chuck would just roam around the house of one of our parties completely naked as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Girls would usually have this befuddled look of awe while we'd all be cracking up in the corner. He did this a bunch of times -- to the point where it was kind of commonplace. Aaah college. 25. Pissing in the sink in college; on a consistent basis (1995) We lived in a four bedroom house our junior and senior years, and three of the rooms were upstairs. There was one bathroom on each floor. Once the upstairs toilet was broken. Instead of getting it fixed or going downstairs every time we needed to drain the vein, my roommate Steve and I kept it a secret that we would just unleash in the sink. Now picture brushing your teeth right after. Hey, we water the running at the same time! 24. Three middle aged-women coming into work dressed as The Supremes (1997) Three middle managers in their 40s come in dressed as The Supremes on Halloween. Two are white and one is black. The black woman of course is fine. One woman, (who happened to be my boss) comes in the outfit the other two are wearing. The other white woman comes in black face. Not completely black mind you, but a definitive tint. This caused a bit of a stir in the office because during the same day.... 23. White woman dresses up as me (1997) I'm 22 or 23 -- the fresh out of college young guy and people know I can take a joke. So this one woman in my department makes a mask of me. Except she added the little fu-manchu mustache and completely slanted eyes! And when she took off her mask her face was tinted in yellow!! I'm not sure if these people had a talk with HR but here's a middle finger to political correctness. 22. A co-worker going ape shit at the printer Office Space style. Before Office Space came out (1997) I was sitting at the scanning station which was next to one of the printers. One of the women I worked with, really sweet but big hair and short temper, went up to the printer and to her dismay, found something wrong. "FOR F#%K'S SAKE!!", she screamed, as I sat in fear completely ignoring her and continuing with my scanning. 21. Being called Un-American by some girl I was hitting on (2000) My friends started hanging out with this generously shaped but oh so ditzy Southern blonde. We were at this bar one night and she lamented on how she was single to which I replied something to the effect that I wouldn't mind being her boyfriend. Here is her reply verbatim. "Well, I really only date Americans." 50-41 | 40-31 | 30-21 | 20-11 | 10-1 |
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Newsarama Interview The 50 Most Shocking Moments of My Life |
